Embracing Self-Love

As love fills the air this month, I feel the urge to share a very personal journey – a deep dive into learning to love myself. Life has presented me with challenges, much like everyone’s pursuit of self-acceptance. The concept of self-love, often portrayed as something adults naturally grasp or simply a way to express affection, found me just as it finds many others.

From my early years, I understood the importance of showing love and care to those close to me as a recipe for a fulfilling life. However, I soon realized that while I excelled at demonstrating love to others, I struggled to extend the same kindness to myself. At 19, I felt the weight of prioritizing others’ needs over my own, only to be met with resistance when attempting to express my emotions to those around me. This experience underscored the vulnerability of being genuine with those we hold dear, It hurts to be vulnerable, but it hurts more when you are vulnerable around people who you consider special to you in one way or another, especially those who, by your understanding, are meant to love you regardless.

I have a vivid memory of creating a special mosaic video for two significant individuals in my life at that time, pouring my heart into it. However, one of them feigned their reaction, bursting into laughter soon after, while the response of the other remains a blur. This experience was a big lesson for, teaching me that the place you hold in someone’s life may not align with where they stand in yours. This realization led me to understand that expecting reciprocation of love from them may be futile. It took time, but I knew I had to change.

My journey to self-love didn’t unfold like a fairy tale. It was born from heartbreak, loss, and a sense of being unlucky in love. I gave abundantly, only to receive very little in return, leading me to feel confined and insignificant, especially when the care I showed wasn’t reciprocated. Yet, through these trials, I discovered that my own happiness holds the greatest importance. There were moments when negative self-talk plagued me, casting doubt on my worth and abilities. Nevertheless, I learned to confront these thoughts and replace them with affirming and positive statements, gradually reshaping my self-perception.
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One of the ways I now practice self-love is through journaling, a powerful tool for self-reflection that I quickly realized. It has helped me comprehend my thoughts and emotions, guiding me to meaningful self-discovery. I found solace in the fact that I no longer needed to justify myself to others or express my frustrations aloud. Instead, I could simply write them down, release them from my system, and believe me when I say, it feels liberating. Through this process, I also came to understand that it’s okay if certain relationships lack closure or resolution, and there’s no need to seek apologies or wait for them from those who have wronged you. What truly matters is that you are okay.

I’ve been finding joy in spending more time alone lately. Whether it’s losing myself in a good book or taking a peaceful walk, these moments have become essential for me. Learning to cherish my own company has become so important that I guard my peace fiercely. Honestly, Taking the time to be alone and reflect has brought me a sense of calm and contentment that I never knew I needed. It’s incredible to see how this journey of self-discovery has transformed not only my own life but also the dynamics within my family and even my career in general. Like, I’ve noticed a remarkable improvement in my relationship with my husband. Our communication has become more open and sincere, and we’ve become better at solving problems together. Moreover, I find myself more patient with my young sons, who are both under 10 or less reactive when a client decides to make a big deal out of things. It’s fascinating how the peace I feel inside seems to resonate with those around me.

As I discovered self-love, I felt compelled to share my story, even if it’s just a brief summary of a long journey. I now understand that self-love is not just a destination but an ongoing adventure. I often ponder why it took me so long to embark on this journey, and truth be told, I don’t have a definitive answer. It seems we’re taught that being selfless is a way to express love, but we’re not taught to love ourselves first. Let this loving month be a reminder that no matter how long it takes, the journey to self-love is truly worth it. As I navigated this new world of self-love, I felt the need to share my story, even if it was just a summary of a long battle.